Branstad Gets Behind Romney, Santorum Drops Out

Image of Greg Santorum One needn't follow American politics in any great depth to realize that a Republican Presidential candidate race has been underway south of the border. In fact, one would have to be living in a cave not to recognize names like Mitt Romney or Rick Santorum which have been tossed about like doilies in a hurricane. About a month ago, over breakfast at the local haunt, I expressed the view that Mitt Romney would, in all likelihood, prevail over Rick Santorum in the Republican race. My view, which also envisions a 2nd Presidential term for Barrack Obama, was not looked upon with as much optimism by my good friend Dave, whose politics are best defined as right of center. In hindsight, I wish I'd have said "Romney's going to wipe his arse with Santorum". That would, in light of current events, have been apropos.

When I read the ticker-tape headline yesterday streaming across the screen proclaiming "SANTORUM DROPS OUT ONE DAY AFTER BRANSTAD GETS BEHIND ROMNEY" I burst into hysterical laughter. An innocuous headline could not have elicited that kind of laughter. Could the author have considered the depravity in the double entendre present in the headline? I certainly did...

Of course the big news for American political pundits coming out of Gettysburg yesterday was Rick Santorum's announcement suspending his campaign in the Republican presidential candidate's race. Amidst speculation his decision was based on his daughter's health, "We were very concerned about our roles as being the very best parents that we can be to our children," Santorum said. His decision to withdraw from the race also, coincidently, came just one day after Iowa Governor Terry Branstad announced he would be endorsing Mitt Romney in the Republican race.

Dan Savage, author of the internationally syndicated relationship and sex advice column Savage Love, has long advocated equal rights for gays and lesbians. Not surprisingly, Savage's views stand in stark contrast to those of Rick Santorum who has "a problem with homosexual acts" and does not believe the right to privacy under the United States Constitution covers sexual acts.

In May 2003, in response to the perceived anti-gay position expressed by then-U.S. Senator Rick Santorum during an Associated Press interview, Savage held a contest among his readers to create a definition for the word "santorum". Not surprisingly, Savage received tremendous response to his call for "santorum neologisms", most asserting, in rather blunt terms, their utter contempt for Rick Santorum. At contest's end Savage announced the winning entry... "santorum: the frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the byproduct of anal sex".

So when the headline "SANTORUM DROPS OUT ONE DAY AFTER BRANSTAD GETS BEHIND ROMNEY" flashed across my television screen, you can now appreciate the distrubing imagery which came to mind and the cause for my laughter. One final note... the picture accompanying this rant was just something I grabbed off Google which conveniently fit the dimensions of the website. It is, in case you're wondering, in no way a photo of Rick Santorum propositioning a hooker.... honest....

Submitted by Bob Loblaw, 11 April 2012